Above: My ghetto fabulous shoes from 9th grade. Yes, I wear these to the gym.
7 a.m. Bridgette makes me the tiniest omelet I have ever seen, which really gets my goat. Normally I would just make myself a supplementary bowl of oatmeal, but like I said before, carbs are strictly forbidden. I think about throwing a tantrum, but I like Bridgette and know she isn’t purposely trying to ruin my life, so I let it go. I try to calm down with deep breaths and a couple cups of Earl Grey tea.10 a.m. I cheat and eat two slices of ham, which I’m pretty sure isn’t allowed. There’s no turkey, hard-boiled eggs, or vegetables anywhere in sight, so what do they expect me to do, starve?
2 p.m. I make a turkey “unwich,” which is basically turkey, cucumbers, tomatoes, celery, red peppers, and mustard wrapped in some lettuce. It tastes much less satisfying than it sounds.
3:30 p.m. I am famished. I decide to go to Marsh and buy some “smokehouse” flavored almonds, a suggested snack for the NY Body Plan. I open the can on the way to my parked car and immediately eat a handful. Mmm, yummy. I am very pleased with myself.
4:30 p.m. I take a Cardio Core class at the gym with my friend Lindsey. I left my regular gym shoes in Indy and am forced to wear these Bedazzled monstrosities (see above) that came from an era where rhinestones made sense on everything. I am in serious need of a workout makeover. Shannon, our instructor, is comically enthusiastic. This crazy broad genuinely enjoys working out. I’ll never understand some people.
5:45 p.m. Dinner is lemon pepper salmon. I also grab a serving of the broccoli and cauliflower medley and some celery and red pepper sticks, but pass on the polenta.
6:15 p.m. I start to make some apple cider, then realize how much sugar is in it. Darn, now I’ll have to find another way to ward off my sweet tooth.
7:00 p.m. I eat another handful of almonds before I head to my PR team meeting because I sense that my team members will order something unhealthy. I know arriving hungry will only set me up for a moment of weakness, and I really don’t want to cheat.
8:00 p.m. I was right. The four other girls in my group order a Pizza Express thin crust cheese pizza with breadsticks. I’m so glad I had those almonds because Pizza Express breadsticks are my absolute FAVORITE. They have just the perfect amount of garlic and are especially good dipped in full-fat ranch dressing or nacho cheese, both of which are staring at me right now. I resist the garlicky goodness and walk away from the meeting victorious. David Kirsch would be proud.
11:00 p.m. After my meeting I settle down with a cup of Calm Tazo tea and watch the newest episode of Top Chef. It might just be an off day for the contestants, but none of the dishes they make seem appetizing to me. I take this as a good sign.
Image: Maggie Conner
