A super awesome list of things girls wear that piss me off:
1) Uggs
More like UGHHHHS. I'm amazed- everyone seems to know how horrendous looking they are, but over and over I get the, "but they're so warm and comfy" defense. Who cares!? You know what else is warm and comfy? The freshly eviscerated carcass of a moose. I don't see anyone wearing those.
There is hope, however. One time I saw someone wearing a pair of (what seemed to be) Uggs and I thought," y'know... that really works with the outfit and the context." That person was a Nepalese yak herder standing in two feet of snow though. You are not a Nepalese yak herder.
2) Sweats (especially pants. ESPECIALLY velour pants.)
Don't give me the "warm and comfy" argument again. That's bullshit. You know it. I know it. You're wearing a textile intended for the desperate, the lazy, and the people whose hopes of getting laid sailed off DECADES ago.
3) Peasant Tops
Luckily, I don't see these much anymore. Which is good. I was seriously concerned about our economy what with all these peasants running around.
4) American Apparel
"I get all my basics there." You know what? Fine, get your basics there. But know this: getting clothes at American Apparel is like saying, "my favorite color is beige."
5) Afghani Scarves
Those were cool for about twenty minutes, but now if you wear one it just looks like your issue of "Jihadist Monthly" got lost in the mail and finally showed up at your doorstep nine months too late.
6) Toms Shoes
You dumb bastards actually fell for that bullshit. Some guy named Tom convinced you to buy the most minimal pair of shoes your closet has ever seen under the pretense that he was going to give a pair of similar shoes to a Somalian with naked feet. Look at it this way- you could have given that same amount of money to Tom and said, "hey man, why don't you just take this money and give TWO pairs of shoes to some Somalian with naked feet." That and now you're dressing like a Somalian that can't afford shoes. WAY TO BE BOTH SOCIALLY AND FASHIONABLY BACKWARDS.
This is what I'm NOT seeing enough of (and this is seriously a problem).
1) Headbands
You know, when you put on a nice little headband to keep your hair out of your eyes, you're simultaneously way more classy for opting out of the ponytail, plus, look! Now your head has a stripe! NEAT!
2) Button down oxford shirts
This is, like, the most obvious thing ever. It's simple, it's timeless, it goes with literally (almost) everything ever, and it makes you look like a rich girl from the East coast who's out here for the summer visiting her land-locked cousin.
By: Justin Keller
